


there's joy not far from here (i know there is)

by joshllyman



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anxiety, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Non-Binary Sugawara Koushi, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Sugawara Koushi, Other, Panic Attacks, Polyamory, had a shit day and decided asahi needed cuddles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2019-10-22
Packaged: 2020-12-28 01:08:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21128291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joshllyman/pseuds/joshllyman
Summary: Asahi drops two emojis into the group chat with Daichi and Suga on his way out the door from work: a broken heart and the x. They had developed a system, sometime after their platonic relationship had grown into a romantic one, for times when one or more of them were low on emotional energy and couldn't quite explain themselves. The broken heart indicates he's had a bad day; the x means he doesn't want to talk about it.---Asahi has a bad day. His partners remind him he's loved.





	there's joy not far from here (i know there is)

Asahi drops two emojis into the group chat with Daichi and Suga on his way out the door from work: a broken heart and the x. They had developed a system, sometime after their platonic relationship had grown into a romantic one, for times when one or more of them were low on emotional energy and couldn't quite explain themselves. The broken heart indicates he's had a bad day; the x means he doesn't want to talk about it.

He shoves his phone deep into his pocket and pulls his gloves on over his hands. He has to wrap his scarf a little more tightly around his neck to keep the cold air out, except in doing so, he realizes it's not his own scarf he grabbed this morning. Suga has always preferred a more floral scent than he does personally, and he looks down to find it’s their navy blue scarf encircling him. He sighs and buries his nose in the scratchy wool, breathing them in as if they’re here with him. It’s comforting, but not nearly enough, and he finds himself lonely and aching.

He feels his phone buzz a few times on his walk back to their apartment, but he’s unwilling to expose his skin to the cold to check it. Most likely it’s Daichi and Suga letting him know they’ll be home soon; it could, potentially, be Noya or Tanaka. There’s a small chance it’s his mother. That’s about the extent of people who text him, and all of them can wait until he’s back inside if they need a response.

He slips out of his shoes after he closes the door firmly behind him. The coat goes in the closet, Suga’s scarf back into the basket above it. He undoes the button on his slacks on his way into the bedroom, tossing his phone onto the bed before letting them fall to the ground in a heap. His work shirt joins them, and he digs around in the drawer for a fresh pair of pajamas before curling up in the fetal position in the bed he shares with his partners.

It had, in fact, been Daichi and Suga to text him.

_ Koushi: _ (︶︹︺) _ home soon babe _

_ Daichi: Leaving shortly. What do you want for dinner? _

Asahi contemplates this. He frowns as he types out his response.

_ Asahi: Okay if we do takeout? _

This is probably the first indication he’s given that his day was not just a Bad Day, it was a Very Bad Day. He loves Daichi’s cooking (and Suga’s too, when they’re feeling like it) and prefers it over fast food any day. Today he doesn’t want to have to give up any time with Daichi. Daichi’s answer comes in quickly.

_ Daichi: Of course. Your usual? _

_ Asahi: Yes, please. Sorry for the trouble. _

Asahi sets his phone on the nightstand and closes his eyes, wrapping his arms tightly around himself. His anxiety has had him on edge all day, leaving him entirely worn out. He curls up a little more tightly in the blankets, the cold from outside still a phantom on his skin, and shoves his head under the pillow to block out the light.

He wakes a bit later to the mattress dipping under someone's weight, and he unearths himself to find Daichi beside him.

"Hi, sweetheart," Daichi says. He leans down to kiss Asahi's forehead. "I'm sorry you had a bad day."

Asahi only groans in response.

"I brought food," Daichi continues. "Are you hungry?"

"We should wait for Koushi," Asahi answers. His voice is hoarse from disuse, and he clears it before going on. "Will you come here?"

"Of course. Give me thirty seconds." 

Daichi strips out of his work clothes. Asahi fixates on his arms as he does so, the strong muscles rippling underneath tanned skin. He wants those arms around him, desperately. He bites his lip, willing himself to be a little more patient.

Daichi doesn't bother with a shirt, knowing he's about to be pressed in with both Asahi and Suga, but once he's got more comfortable pants he rummages around in the linen closet and comes back with the weighted blanket. He arranges it over Asahi and crawls in underneath. Asahi settles against his chest as Daichi slips an arm around his back.

"How was your day?" Asahi asks, his quiet voice harsh in the silence of the room. 

"It was fine," Daichi answers. "You still don't want to talk about yours?"

Asahi shakes his head. Daichi runs his free hand through Asahi's hair, massaging his scalp, taking care not to tangle it. Asahi sighs and melts a little more into Daichi. It's one of Asahi's favorite forms of touch, especially from Daichi, who is always so gentle with him. 

"Sorry about making you stop for food," Asahi mumbles, his mouth muffled by Daichi's chest.

Daichi shakes his head. "It's no trouble, Asahi. I just want you to feel better."

"I didn't want to give up any time with you," Asahi whispers. 

Daichi's hand pauses halfway through Asahi's hair before continuing. "You don't have to justify yourself. I'm here for whatever you need, alright?"

"Alright," Asahi agrees. Daichi kisses the crown of his head.

The front door opens and closes, and Suga calls out a greeting. “We’re in bed,” Daichi calls back, not too loudly so that he doesn’t disturb Asahi. “Bring food!”

Suga pokes their head in, and their face goes soft around all the edges. “You guys look cozy.”

“We’ll be cozier when you join us,” Asahi says, lifting a hand to entice them in, and Suga smiles and shakes their head.

“I’m starving, babe,” they say. “I’ll plate everything up for us and come right back.”

Asahi huffs but doesn’t argue, and Daichi’s grip around his back tightens momentarily. 

“Let’s sit up,” he says. Asahi groans again but allows Daichi to maneuver him into sitting by the time Suga comes back, two plates in their hands. They hand them off to Daichi and Asahi and return after a moment with their own plate and three beers.

They eat mostly in silence, their elbows bumping up against each other, Suga still in their work uniform. Asahi picks at his noodles and pushes his broccoli around his plate for a while. 

“You should eat,” Suga says, a piece of pork halfway between the plate and their mouth. Asahi shrugs. Suga contemplates their bite and shoves it into Asahi’s mouth instead, and Asahi’s protest is cut off by a quick mouthful of rice added by Daichi. His partners giggle at him while he chews and swallows, a pout on his face.

“No fair,” he says once he’s clear. “Ganging up on me like that.”

Daichi rubs his thigh soothingly. “I think you’ll be fine.”

Asahi takes his next bite in the most exaggerated way possible, making a scene of grabbing the noodles and slurping them up loudly. Suga rubs his back and leans their head against his shoulder.

“Thank you, Asahi,” they murmur, and Asahi sighs and keeps eating.

Daichi clears away their plates after they’ve finished, and Asahi swirls the last of his beer in the bottom of the bottle. 

“You wanna keep sitting up or should we lay back down?” Suga asks. Asahi downs the beer and answers by laying back down, dragging Suga with him and pulling their arm around his waist. Suga noses into his back, pressing themself tight against Asahi, and when Daichi returns he joins them, facing Asahi, their noses pressed together.

“You had a panic attack today, didn’t you?” he asks quietly, and Asahi looks away and doesn’t answer. Suga wiggles up his body, tucking their chin into his shoulder.

“Asahi?” they prompt.

Asahi swallows hard. “Yes,” he answers. He presses his forehead against Daichi’s chest. 

“You took your pill?” Daichi asks.

“Yes.”

His hands find Asahi’s hair and run through it again, and Asahi wills away the tears leaking out of the corner of his eye. Suga hums, so softly that he mostly feels it rather than hears it, a vibration ringing through his body, dousing him in comfort. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispers after a while, and Suga and Daichi sigh in near unison.

“Asahi,” Suga says. “What on earth are you apologizing for?”

He tucks himself further into Daichi. “I don’t mean to be such a bother.”

“You’re not,” Daichi says fiercely. He lifts Asahi’s chin, forcing him to make eye contact. “You are not a bother, Asahi. Not today, not ever.”

“Not even a little bit,” Suga adds. They hold him tight. “I love you.”

“I love you,” Daichi says. 

Asahi’s tears fall freely now, and he struggles to keep himself from sobbing outright, especially with Daichi’s eyes still gazing so intently into his, with Suga’s arms snug around him. Daichi brushes them away with his thumb. 

“You’re so good to me,” Asahi mumbles.

“You deserve it,” Suga says. “You deserve every good thing we give you, and so much more.”

Daichi nods. “You are worth it.”

Asahi keeps himself from shaking his head by burying himself in Daichi’s chest again. Daichi’s arms fall to his waist, and Asahi cries quietly, secured between his partners, knowing he’s safe. Suga kisses his back and shoulders, and Daichi kisses his the top of his head, and they both whisper “I love you” over and over until Asahi remembers, until he knows.

“I love you, too,” he whispers, sometime later. Daichi lifts his head from where it’s fallen against the pillow, and Suga presses their face into his shoulder. “I love you both so much.”

“We know,” Suga answers. Asahi pries himself away from Daichi to lay on his back, and Suga reaches up to press their lips together. When they pull away they’re smiling, gentle and sweet. “You wanna watch _ Totoro _?”

“I was thinking _ Arrietty _,” Daichi counters.

“You guys both know what my answer’s going to be,” Asahi says, allowing a small smile.

“_ From Up on Poppy Hill _,” they say together, and all three of them giggle. 

“I’ll get the laptop,” Daichi offers, kissing Asahi’s cheek and rolling out of bed. Asahi and Suga sit up again. Suga leans against Asahi, and Asahi wraps an arm around them. Daichi comes back with the laptop and a box of Oreos.

“You sharing?” Suga asks, a teasing note in their voice.

“Nope,” Daichi says, already popping one in his mouth as Asahi queues the movie. “You’ll have to get your own.”

Asahi leans over and kisses Daichi soundly, and Suga slips the Oreos from Daichi’s pliant hands. Daichi nips at Asahi’s lip.

“No fair,” he says, reaching up to hold Asahi’s jaw. “Ganging up on me like that.”

“I think you’ll be fine,” Asahi answers. Suga reaches across Asahi to shove another Oreo into his mouth.

The familiar notes of the movie’s opening play, and Asahi settles against the headboard, Daichi and Suga both leaning into him, the box of Oreos open between them. Daichi will fall asleep halfway through the movie, just like he always does, and Suga will start whispering comments in Asahi’s ear about how cute Daichi is, just like they always do. When the movie ends they’ll set the laptop on the side table and convince Daichi to lay down, and when they fall asleep, limbs tangled inextricably together, Asahi will still remember how much they love him, and how much he loves them, and tomorrow will be a better day.

**Author's Note:**

> this was self-indulgent af ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
come yell about volleyball boys with me on tumblr @joshllyman


End file.
